Spend the weekend shouting ‘Eh?’ at anyone who attempts a conversation with me and yelling ‘ You’ll have to speak up! ‘ at my DS who speaks in a low, barely decipherable teenage tone at the best of times, as I stupidly and against advice from my boyfriend decided upon a DIY ear wax removal job with some cotton buds. Plunged into almost instant deafness I head for Boots where I crane my head over the counter to hear the advice of the pharmacist who confirms that sticking cotton buds in one’s ears is not smart and I should try ear drops instead. Once administered I will need to wait a few days before the water logged sensation passes and hopefully my hearing returns.
‘ God, you’re really old! ‘, says DD after I bark ‘ Pardon? ‘ one too many times at her. ‘ Its wax, not old age, have you done your chemistry revision yet? ‘ Eh?’ she says, feigning deafness and walking out of the room.