According to news reports this week a mother in Ohio allegedly tried to run her teenage daughter over in the car park of their local Walmart following what was clearly a rather heated argument. The mom denies the charge of Aggravated Vehicular Assault and says she was simply trying to smack her daughter across the head through the window. Oh, that’s so much better m’am, assault without a vehicle is always preferable. Now, I know our unbelievably frustrating hormonal teenage daughters take us to dark places where reason and sanity no longer dwell, but trying to run them over seems a bit excessive. My own DD has entered a world of such extreme mood swings that I am being forced almost daily to find new reservoirs of patience in my dealings with her, lest I find myself gunning the engine in Tesco’s car park. This week saw me standing in the kitchen breathing slowly and deeply and repeating – “ Out with anger, in with love “ until the urge to brain DD with a large object passed. The cause of my state of heightened stress was DD’s latest outburst of shouting, pouting, door slamming, swearing and the ( getting very boring ) ‘ why you continually ruin my life ‘ tirade. Five minutes later she bounces into the kitchen and asks in her nicest voice ‘ So, how was your day? ‘. When I don’t respond perkily enough for her exacting teenage standards she glares at me and says ‘ God, what’s wrong with you, you’re so ratty all the time, are you menopausal or something…? ‘
‘ D’you fancy a trip to Tesco’s darling? ‘ I ask in my nicest voice.